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Not A Game

 lets play a game - 
      we'll fight and i'll pretend not to care

I'm over this game - 
      And i do care -
      More than you do

why dont you just take a step back -
       have a look at what you've done

what we had was good -
       it was strong

and now -
       because of you - 
       its all gone

i sure hope your proud of who you are -
       someone has to be

its not me thats changed -
       look carefully and you might actually see

this thing we're playing -
        its not a game


just let go -
stop playing -
       you've already won

I hate the way you talk to me
I hate it when you stare
I hate the way you read my mind
I hate it so much that 
It even makes me ryhme

I hate the way you're always right
I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me laugh
Even worse when you make me cry

I hate the way you're not around
And the fact that you didn't call
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you
Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

modified 10 things i hate about you poem ..
so true for me right now
and eminem lyrics arent helping the situation

i miss you .. what happened ??

i miss you :(
your my best friend
but your not acting like it ..
i miss you when your not around ..
i miss you when you are ..
we never talk anymore :(
your always with her ..
i dont mind that you want to spend time with your girlfriend ..
but what about your best friend ??
what about me ??
you didnt even bother to introduce her to me ..

what happened to us ??

new PM

so "kevin 07" is gone
and ranga is in 

not really into politics >> and while i think that australia having its first female prime minister is great, i dont think were ready for it just yet
i dont htink our society is stable enough to hold the change ... and miss julia gillard had to stab her partner kevin rudd in the back to get her position. 

politics are such liars
 i hate it when its true. stupid dreams and the subconscious mind being right. no matter how much you convince yourself it isnt true, your subconscious mind always shows you the truth in your dreams where you are powerless to stop it. 
so know i have myself in a bit of a predicament :( :(



i liked that
:( :(
i shouldnt have liked that
:( :(
its funny how things turn out in life. i mean i really, really, really like this guy that i am currently dating but then whenever i see HIM its like that just all disappears. its like it doesnt matter that i have a boyfriend.
and we've been through this together. we've both had stages of liking each other but never at the same time. 
i wonder if we ever will at the same time??
oh well

sick :(

 i hate being sick 
especially when i was supposed to see HIM today :(   :(   :(
life literally hates me right now

and as if that isnt enough 
i cant eat or drink anything without feeling like throwing up 
isnt that just great ??
cause im absolutely STARVING !!!!



 some people are just plain weird

i mean com on 
she knew me all of two seconds (literally) and started calling me all sorts of things 
one second we're saying hi the next she's abusing me 


im over this bullshieett

dont get me wrong i love working
but its fukking bull shieeett
all these fukking ppl abusing me about things i didnt do 
fukken hell 

but i met a really hawt guy md got his number ;)


im confuzzled ... FML

 man im so confused 

talking about it would be easy if i even new where to begin
even in my own mind

things are just a constant stream of endless things that wouldnt make sense to speak aloud or write .....



Jun. 7th, 2010

i think that maybe .. possibly .. that was the stupidest thing ive ever done

no one knows though so i think im safe ...

for now

... weellll ...

 about half an hour ago i thought there was a song lyric for absolutely everything

now im not so sureeee

there is no way to describe how im feeling now

its true :D :D

i saw a certain someone today ;)

its true what they say

there's always that one friend that you will always have a thing for

i will always have a thing for this friend
it was so much fun ;) 

especially cause he likes to flirt back :D :D :D

and on a more random note
i found a pimple on my boob ... LOL 

Writer's Block: Nature v. nurture

In your opinion, how much of our personality is genetic, and how much is shaped by environmental factors?

this used to be an easy question for me to answer ... 
but recently things have changed my mind.
i used to think that your personality was all genetics and that there was no way that we could avoid having the personality of our parents or grandparents.
then i met my best friend. 
her personality is nothing like that of her families.
so it got me wondering ....
now i think your personality is shaped by the people you love most.
my friend hates her family so she's nothing like them, but she is so much like me and our other friends.
i love all my family and all my friends and my personality is a combination of both 


 just made a twitter account

im not sure wat it is though ... i just decided id make one

 to be honest im only posting this for the sake of posting
im bored and i have nothing else to do
facebook is boring me and im sikk of my mum facebook stalking me
gawd like privacy much ????

oh and me nd nerinaa are driends again ..
she finally realised she was being a stupid bitch :D :D 

work is pissing me off ...
yesterday i had a five hour cleaning shift ... my knees dont cope well with that
and then today i worked from 8.30 this morning til just after 4 this afternoon
my knees didnt cop well with that either .. but it was better than last night .. today i was on counter

thankgawd next week im on counter as well
stupid work ...

school photos were yesterday .. that didnt go well ... 
the boys that like me are pissing me off ..

but i guess lifes ok 
for now


today was so fukken funny :D :D
usually when im in a fight with someone i like to act all depressed
but today was so much better than that
i wlatzed around like nothing happened making nerina all pissed because happy bubbly me was getting the attention and not her
nawww poor didums .. please
but it was soo good because she actually thinks i care that we are fighting when it truth i dont give a fuck
but whats even better is .. that this time, she has no argument against me

last time we fought i started it .. i'll admit that .. but i was only standing up for my best friend
this time she started it and has absolutely nothing on me
everything that she says i did .. its all in her head

im so fucking happy =]

and feeling in a bitchy mood .. i think im going to punch her :) 
but im not going to take her crap thats for sureee

Writer's Block: Bone appetit!

If your pet were arranging a dinner party, who do you think they would invite and what would they serve?

my dogg would invite his "special" friend 
my nans dogg

jack - my dogg - and sam - my nans dogg - have a very special relationship .

my dogg would serve ... nothing he'd be too busy humping my nans dogg 


Writer's Block: Mystery meat

What is the most disgusting food you have ever eaten? What made it so gross?

avacado ..

its mushy and green ..

but i guess the green part is ok seeing as how its my favorite colour and all
but on food ?? i think not 

food should not be green and mushy 


ok so its been a while since ive been able to do this .. 
and so much has happened ..
for one i got dumped on my ass by this little mofo
then all of a sudden all these guys decided they were going to start liking me
there are like currently five guys with a crush on me and i am so freaking over it 

then theres this guy i know from primary school
he found me on faceboook so i added him but then he turned like stalker crazy and wont leave me alone

i started work 

and now i just got into a huge fight with one of my friends

i have freaking trust issues and am currently not letting anyone in
not even my best friends

gawd .. 

oh and i found out that my brothers gay
im happy for him and i already love his partner MARK :D
they are so cutee

Writer's Block: Bombshell alert!

If you find out that a celebrity you admire has been cheated on by her/his partner, do you typically root for them to reconcile or split up? If they have kids together, how does that affect your opinion?

this is more of a question for my best friend yvonne. 
she has a celebrity crush on orlando bloom and now she hates miranda kurr (idk how to spell her name)
she would so root for a split up.
if the had kids she would still root for them to break up 

Writer's Block: Countdown

If a catastrophe struck and you had to leave your home in a hurry (and never return), what items would you grab in your last ten minutes, and why?

mii dogg nd mii sxc new dress :)
mii dogg cuz ive had him for as long as i can remember 
nd mii dress cuz its sxc nd new nd i get to wear it for an assignment at school

:) yay
 i have throughly managed th screw that up  

wanting some advice

i am desperately in need of some advice
miss mcgilchrist was right
i am going to snap and i think its going to be soon

im trying not to let everyone see how much it hurts
but what am i suppossed to do even when my closest friends are saying things
its really hard to be the happy bubbly one 
its really hard to keep the hurt and anger locked up inside

so i need advice
why do i do it?
and why dont i stop?

.. hmm ..

 well i wasnt expecting a dream like that 

makes me wonder 

.. hmm ..

stupid sub-conscience 

mii adorable lil ppl

 i love the little girls in my peer support group
i absolutely love them
i mean i miss one lesson with them and they are absolutely heartbroken
and the way they look up to me,
well leets just say it makes my day when they run up to me and say hi because its cool
it makes my day when they want to sit next to me because im cool
it makes my day when they go around to their friends saying yeh thats my cool peer support leader
they are so adorable
i wish i could pack them all up and put them on my shelf
cute is not even anywhere near what they are
today they were cute
they apparently didnt have fun with my peer support partner rachel and were extremely upset i wast there 
makes me feel all warms and fuzzy on the inside 
im gunna be sad when i hav

so sick

im sick
so i cant go see awl my fwends

but is ok cuz i miss out on school

but that means i miss out on english with miss mcgilchrist

i had to be sick on the day that i had my favorite teacher didnt i 
i hope im better for our double on friday cuz if i missed that i think id cry

stupid flu
go get someone else sick who actually wants to be
you even made me miss dancing last night

Writer's Block: 420 friendly?

A number of U.S. states are planning to legalize marijuana. Do you agree or disagree with this policy, and why?

ahhh noooooooo
absolutely not!!!!

i may onlly be fourteen but i know far too well what happens when marijuana is taken
if its legalised there is just going to be more people in the same situation

its like the worlds wants us to ruin our lives
could society be anymore corrupt????????

it should absolutely not be legalised... 
no no no no no

Writer's Block: Don't tease me bro!

Do you think good-natured teasing often goes too far? Have you ever gotten seriously offended by a joke that crossed the line? Have you been informed that your own teasing hurt someone else's feelings?

i get teased all the time. when your as blonde as me there is noooo avoiding it.
it goes too far all the time, but because i've been teased since i was born it just rolls off now

but then there are those times that ive had a crappy day then i cry bout it or take my anger out on someone
but that doesnt happen too often anymore
i just let it roll off me

ima be a mentally ill crying person

 you know what i just realised, i post way to much
but i cant help it, i cant keep a real journal cuz my brothers would find it
but anyway ... 

omg i am like not even sure how i feel
i swear its like my teachers want to send me to a loony bin
and im already half way there
today, i was so stressed out by the amount of homeowrk and assignments i have that are due soon and nowhere near finished that i actually started having a conversation with myself about it
i was doing my maths assignment and was literally having a conversation - and a fight - with myself.
like wtf man. 

and then there is my fur - reek - iiing personal life
actually theres like a whole lot more school related stuff and then theres my personal life
and then way down the ladder is my social life

right now everything in my life sucks and i just want to hide in my room and cry
id get into my personal life but it would take too long to say and then there would just be more and more to come after it as the days go by

but i do have one thing i want to know

why is it that when your enemy insults you it rolls right off, but when someone close to you says the same thing and it stays on your mind forever and you feel really cut bout it?

like seriously

Writer's Block: Best book ever!

Is there any book you can read over and over again without ever getting sick of it? Do you discover something new every time you read it?

vampire academy and house of night -- though they arent so much book as they are sreies

they are two mighty fine series of book they are

i wanna scream

 my science is due on tuesday and i am nowhere near finished

i still have to finish my experimental report (bibliography incuded)
i still have to start my speech
and i still have to finish my powerpoint presentation

and to top it all off i have to switch banks
i cant be with st george i have to be with commonwealth to work at maccas like im gunna

and i still have to finish my dance for pdhpe
and go shopping for my clothes for the presentation part
seeing as how i dont need a dress anymore cuz im the guy now
oh and cuz yvonnes the girl now she's wearing the dress - and it is a pain in the ass to get on

why isnt there enough guys at our school to go around?????????/ if there were life would be soooo much easier 
but it doesnt bother me much
i get to do my assignment with my best friend 

argh yr ten sukks and i want to scream -
hey i probably could .. no ones in the house to hear me though the neighbours might get a little sus


Writer's Block: Raining cats or dogs?

Do you have a decided preference between cats and dogs? Which do you prefer, and why? Would you consider a roommate or partner who had a contrary pet proclivity?

im pretty much easy with both

but i do prefer dogs - but only because they dont scratch you when they get annoyed
they just lick you to death

miss you dilly (my cat who died)
still luvv you jack (my dogg)

embarrassment + friends = not so bad

 i love it when your friends see you through the most embarrassing times in your life and they do two things
1. they make it seem not so bad
2. they dont even stop to laugh

i luvvs uu yvonne , rhiannon and siraj


am on track

 ok -
so we're on track to being friends again
i think she wants to be really close like we used to be but i dont want that cuz i knoe it wiilll happen again
she'll say something bout yvonne to me and i'll tell her off again
so i figure if we're just friends that say "hi" "bye" we'll be good

anyway on a happier note

everyone likes my sxc photo on facebook
thanks nat for doin my hair retardedly then making me take a photo and making me put it on facebook

but it turned out really guud so i cant really be mad at uu

gawd its so cold today

oh and i got heaps done on my dance wich i found out today isnt due in week ten but in week eight
but yeh anyhow 

right now life is good and thats awl i care bout

cept im still tired from my weekend - yeh im a party animal

not reallly but this weekend i might as well have been lol

dont wanna goto dancing tom cuz i think im gunna get it confused with schools - but hey watcha gunna do

Feb. 28th, 2010

ok, so i acciddently accepted someone on facebook who i hate
i clicked respond to friends request and instead of clicking ignore it went to accept
and now she's inboxed me sayin she's sorry and that she doesnt want to fight anymore

i mean i dont want to either
we've been fighting for more than two years
but what she did was inexcusable
and it wasnt even to me

she's only fighting with me cuz i told her off for what she did to my besr friend

and my best friend has a friend request on hers too only she doesnt knoe yet

wat the hell am i supposed to do bout this 

Writer's Block: Ten years to the day

What do you expect to be doing ten years from today, and where do you hope to be living?

i wanna be living in england as a kindergarten teacher
or maybe working in childcare

i'll do my study here
and then i wanna ship  myself off overseas to england away from all of my family

ive always wanted to live in england

new friends

i love it how you meet someone new and within a day your like best friends 

i love my new friend siraj

lol ;)

oh and i also love my sexy bitch yvonne lol

i just want a normal friendship

"you two would make a cute couple" they say
"nah its andrew who likes you"
"pshh .. everyone knows jade has a crush on jackson"
"no its jackson who has a crush on jade"
"andrew we think its you who likes her"

these come out of my friends mouths every week
my guy best friends
andrew and jackson

[even though i kinda hate andrews guts but i dont - if that makes sense]

ugh it pisses me off
youve got evryone saying shit to you

why cant we just have a normal friendship without it turning into anything more
the answer - because guy and girl friendships were made to be difficult and guys need to grow up sooner rather than later

ugh ugh ugh ugh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

please wtf am i supposed to doooo??????
stupid cricket making me be frinds with the guys 

Writer's Block: It's me, not you

Have you ever broken off a relationship with a friend because it was unhealthy for your self-esteem? Were you proud of your decision or did you regret it?

well kinda yes and kinda no

see ive had about three friendship groups that ive broken off because they were bad for me and a little bit my self esteem
i guess its bad for my self esteem now more than it was when i was friends with those groups but i am proud of my decision
i didnt like being the skanky popular bitch - it just took me three tries to figure it out

now im the real me and not who my "supposed" friends wanted me to be
 i was defriended 

now im absolutely cut =[
today was my first job interview

i was sooo nervous it wasnt funny

i hope i get it - if not i have another interview on sunday

Writer's Block: Compare and contrast

What ten words would you use to describe yourself? If your friends were asked to describe you, how closely would all the lists match up?

self deprecating, blonde, confused, a tad bit lost, kinda smart ---- this is how i would describe myself

my friends however ---- top of intelligence [im soooo not], funny, kind, blonde, loveable, [and idk anymore]

they dont exactlly match up 100 per cent

hence the self deprecating - and im discombobulated lol 
 so this term in pdhpe we're doing dance - again

but its cool cuz i get to dance with yvonne 

... we ran out of boys wich is cool cuz half of them are feral anyway - even if there are some good looking ones [im not exactly the kind of girl the pick] ...

so now yvonne is the guy and she's my sexy bitch lol

i luvv you yvonne

v-day ......

 so its the big day again
well tomorrow anyway

valentines day

and all i have to say is

im single again and lovin it

so to all my single friends 
happy valentines day and dw bout [people not lovin you because i love you more than anything in the world
Given the choice, would you rather sleep in or eat a delicious breakfast? Is there any food you love so much that you'd wake up at dawn or travel a great distance just to eat it?

i would absolutely love to get up in the morning and eat a delicious breakfast


idk what it would be - but it would be totally gormet [i dont get to eat a lot of gormet things] lol


Writer's Block: Single pride day

Given that we're less than a week out from Valentines, how do you feel about the approaching holiday? Will you participate or abstain? If you're not in a relationship, how will you celebrate your single status?

i am one hundred and twenty five per cent single ....
i like valentines day
i kind of half participate
i mean, i buy my friends gifts and stuff, but i got no man in my life

but i dont mind being single
its fuunn =]

Writer's Block: Collector's piece ...

Do you collect anything? If so, describe your favorite collection (past or present).

i used to collect beer bottle caps

and cans

but not anymore ..... i dont have time to go around collecting anything anymore
im just busy busy busy

i had to be friends with boys .....

i dont usually think that there is anything wrong with being friends with guys
some of my best friends are guys
but at times i wonder if i should maybe not be so close to them 

at cricket i hang around my brother and my two guy almost best friends - we've know eachother for like eight years [except my brother obviously]
it doesnt bother me when i catch them occassionally looking at my boobs and my butt - its just wat guys do
but its kind of wierd now cuz now thats not all
now things are all like flirty and stuff - its not like awkward or anything [if anything its funny] but its just weird

its kind of hilarious but its just weird

i couldve been a girlie girl but no - i had to be friends with boys

oh well ............................... lol ahahahahahahaha =]

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September 2010


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